i'm never going to make good decisions

i am the reason for all my problems in life

i have lost everything i ever loved

i consciously make my life harder

i don't even trust a word i say

i have no idea who i am

i drink in excess because i can't stand thinking about my life

everything i did to anyone is coming back to me

i don't think about peoples feeling until its way too late (even mine)

i never gave myself a chance

i probably don't deserve one.




now i just need to deal with it.

i love how much people talk shit. is soon as i can im the fuck out of here.

i just dont know what to do with myself.

i keep doing things the wrong way because i think i need to do them differently. im now realizing i just need to do what feels right instead of being a jerk and doing things because im trying to prove "i can do what i want when i want" and im not even doing that! i want to do nice things for her and have her around.

i have moved 4 times this past year and im sick of it!! i hope i'll be here for a while.
i dont even know why im posting this im just so bored right now because i cant skate.

well........say hola to the new kid in town...
i will admit i was a bit worried that i was going to move to this new town for no other reason but to be with a girl.....
dont get me wrong shes not just a girl i am totally bat shit crazy in love with her and it was worth it to be with her, but she was like the only reason to move to this area.
i am getting more comfortable with the thought of this being my home im thinking of it like a new adventure...im exploring new lands and trying to adapt to the local customs..just hope i dont get stuck with the hella thing....
its not like im completely without friends but i CAN count them on one hand..
soooo im thinking i can leech onto them and im sure i can make some more once i get a car hahaha...it sucks but its true...
i just hope they dont get sick of me till then......
what am i saying?!? who could ever get sick of me?!?
i looovvvee my girlfriend and the friends i have here are good people and the more i just let go of the whole nobody knows me they arnt going to like me because im not from here crybaby crap the better its going to be.....

yup yup.. i think im going to like it here.

and i was so tireed i forgot my password, and i think i gave them the wrong e-mail address so.............i made myself a new one!!

i suck at this computer thing..

oh and why the hell isnt my phone ringing??

i am so happy i could piss on the floor!!! i love having a girlfriend who will make everything all better when im losing my mind...

i hope i got this right